Bugger! My sneaky plans were foiled this morning!
See, after my doctors appointment yesterday I knew I had to go to pathology and have some blood tests done, so my plan was to announce to hubby that finally there were NO MORE EXCUSES, and that seeing as he was taking me for the blood tests that it was a perfect opportunity for HIM to have his much needed, long awaited blood tests also!
I have been trying to get him to have a full health check done for some time now. He’s gained weight, he’s turning 50, and it’s about time he had his cholesterol and sugars and all the rest of it checked. (Yeah, he’s never had any done!)
Just trying to get him to GO to the doctor was an ordeal in itself and took a LOT of pleading, begging, nagging and blackmail!
The thing is though he is SUCH a bloody wuss! The thought of a needle sets his bottom lip a wobbling. (Oh poor baby. Never mind that I excruciatingly painfully pushed four children from my loins and you witnessed the agony of that….yet hey, I survived!)
So, he conveniently “lost” his last blood test referral thingy. That was about three months ago.
Never mind….the next time I went in I asked the doctor if he could give ME a copy, so *I* could keep them in a very safe place!
The doctor was more than happy. Thought it was amusing that I have one of “those” husbands.
My other half was rather miffed though.
“That’s not right!” he said.
“That’s betrayal of patient privacy!”
Nice try darling, but I don’t think it would stand up in a court of law somehow.
So for almost a month now I’ve been trying to pin down a day when hubby is working at home so we can go in early for him to have these blood tests, which are fasting ones, for blood sugar levels etc…
I thought I’d be sneaky and say nothing, but announce this morning, at the last minute, with NO wiggle room, that he TOO was going for a blood test – TODAY!
“I’ve already had a cup of coffee!” he says. (Panicking)
“So what….you don’t have sugar so it shouldn’t matter. You’re having it done!”
So we get there bright and early….I hand the two forms to the pathologist lady and suddenly hubby pipes up. (Gleefully I might add.)
“I’ve had coffee this morning!”. (Ohhhh man!)
“Did you have milk…..?Oh well, you can’t have it done today. It’s a total fasting test. Can’t have anything but water. …” says the woman.
Cripes, I could have slapped that grin off his face!
“Do you know how long I’ve been trying to just GET HIM HERE?” I said to the woman.
“Does it REALLY matter if he had a bit of milk?”
(Pleeeeeaaaase…just strap him to the chair and take the damned blood!)
“I had THREE cups of coffee.” hubby says happily.
Sheesh! (I’m positive he was lying.)
“With LOADS of milk!” (Big ear splitting grin. This is now a very fun game for him.)
While I was getting blood taken the pathologist said….”He could always have one half of the test done…it doesn’t matter if it’s fasting or not, and then he can come back next week for the other.”
Well, yeah now if pigs could sprout wings and fly to the moon, maybe, just MAYBE I could convince Mr Wussy pants to have not one but TWO needles in his poor dear delicate little arm….
I did try….but the explosive indignant sounds he was making caused the whole waiting room of people to look over and experience the delight of my plight…..being married to the biggest CHICKEN that has ever scratched the planet.
“That’s what you get for trying to be sneaky.” scolded hubby, delighted with himself, as we walked back to the car.
Next week. Come hell or high water he is getting the damn tests done!
As far as my appointment went yesterday?
I’m just so sick of the runaround doctors have been giving me so this time I decided on a different plan of action.
I hate how doctors never give you their full attention these days during a consultation. Do you know what I mean?
With the arrival of computers they now spend half the time (and time is always so damned precious because they are always running late) peering at the computer screen, typing one fingered as they write their doctors notes, or refresh their memory on your past history WHILE you are speaking to them.
I feel as though they never actually HEAR you. (another case of screens getting in the way of things!)
So this time when he asked me “So what brings you here today?” I simply handed him a folded piece of paper with a list (a long list!) of all the things that have been plaguing me for the past five years.
He actually seemed delighted with my list, which was good because I was afraid he’d just assume I was a nutcase hypochondriac.
(It’s been a while since I’ve seen him, and I know he forgets…..Probably didn’t even recognise me from the last time I went in.)
Anyway, so reading through my list there were a lot of aha’s and yes’s and murmurings of agreement that this indeed fitted the criteria for perimenopause.
Halleluiah….he actually even said the word. PERIMENOPAUSE!
He also said to me in regards to the HRT…”You will either come back in a few months time and KISS me, or HIT me.”
I’m fully aware that I’m taking a gamble….this will either prove to be the cure for this insanity of what I’ve been going through, or it won’t.
So….I have no idea WHO will be blogging here for the next couple of months.
I’m sure there will be ups and downs as my hormones adjust. I’ve done the reading….until you fine tune HRT there can be quite a rollercoaster of states of mind, and physical adjustment to get used to.
Couldn’t be any worse though that the mood swings I’ve already been going through….surely.
Now…if we can just get hubby sorted…….
(I hope they use the biggest needle they can find on him!)