Doing the double spider dance.

I’ve been told that I have very expressive eyes, in fact my daughter always teases me because when she’s talking to me and does the eyes wide open expression thing…..
This is her doing it. She does it well.

… I apparently without being aware I’m doing it, mimic her expression with my own eyes, which makes her stop and laugh at me.

I know I must make that “surprised/alarmed eyes wide open” expression frequently because I’ve got forehead wrinkles to prove it.
Life surprises and alarms me a lot.

There are certain facial expressions you develop when you have kids.
Sometimes your mouth gets fatigued with all the “Stop it! Enough! I said NO’s!” so a good death stare works wonders as a substitute for “Oh my God, you have just pushed my last frazzled button!”

I’ve perfected that – especially the look mothers give in public to their child that says…”Oh boy I really want to strangle you with my bare hands right now, and chew your tongue off because I can’t believe you just SAID that, but I will be arrested and thrown in jail so… Just wait till we get home!”
Works well for husbands too, but they seem to be a bit slower in “getting it” (“Do you have something in your eye honey? Why is it bulging like that?”) which is why a follow up good hard kick under the table is sometimes necessary. (and satisfying.)

On the subject of facial expressions and mimicking behaviours…

A few years ago I  received a very expensive new quilt cover that I was in love with.
I’d just put it on the bed and was sitting there admiring it when my daughter came into my bedroom eating a bar of chocolate.
She perched herself on the end of the bed, munching on the chocolate and started talking to me – as she does, non stop, verbal diarrhea style.

I did say to her. “Don’t you drop any of that on my new quilt!”

During this conversation…(well, I never get a word in edgewise) – this ear battering, I had seen a large huntsman spider  on the wall and commented about it. There were lots of spiders in this particular house.
(Take note of the fact that a spider had been brought to both our attentions.)

By the way, these are the spiders we have to contend with in Australia.
Not incy wincy spiders by any means.

The ear battering continued, and all the while I was thinking to myself “If she drops chocolate on my brand new quilt I will NOT be impressed!”

Sometimes you think things, and expect that the other person knows what’s in your mind, because suddenly she DID drop a tiny bit of chocolate, though must have been unaware of it, and I immediately gave her that wide eyed look that was meant to say “See! I knew you were going to drop chocolate on my bed!”

For some unknown reason though, my daughter thought I was looking at her in wide eyed alarm, because, as she would later tell me, she perceived that I had seen a spider…. ON her.

Her immediate reaction was to freeze and make her own eyes wide open in alarm face.
Seeing her look at ME, with that alarmed look made me think ‘Oh my God, is there a spider on me?”

It was a ridiculous scenario and what followed was most bizarre.
Because we both in that instant believed each of us was making the wide eyed alarm face because there was a spider on the other, we simultaneously jumped up from the bed and began to do the spider dance.

If you do not know what the Spider dance is, I suggest you watch Peter Garret dancing- from Midnight oil, because he does a pretty good representation of it.

It’s a frantic dance where your arms flail around madly, your feet stomp up and down, you turn circles, attempt to brush your shoulders, your back, your head, maybe even try to disrobe (no matter who is present) all because you think there is something small and hairy somewhere on your person.

It’s an excellent form of cardiovascular activity and I highly recommend it as part of your weight loss program.

One time after I’d performed the spider dance , my eldest daughter, aged around ten or eleven? said to me, rather impressed.. “Mum, that’s the most exercise I’ve ever seen you do.”

Anyway, so back to the bedroom and the chocolate and the perceived spiders….
My daughter and I were doing this double spider dance – the chocolate bar she’d been holding had been flung from her hand and had broken into many pieces on the floor…
After a few minutes of this frenzied spider dance off we finally ceased our panicked flailing around and stood looking at each other in absolute confusion, panting heavily.

“Why were you looking at me like THAT?” we both asked the other.

“I thought there was a spider on me!”

“I thought you were looking at a spider on ME!”

So I guess the moral to the story is…

The eyes are windows to….. much paranoid insanity.

About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in Australia, Bedroom, Children, Family, Humour, husbands, Life, Parents and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Doing the double spider dance.

  1. Tasneem says:

    I found this post hilarious :p Good way to start my day.

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