UFO spotted over the central coast of NSW!

Latest breaking news…
“Unidentified flying object spotted over the central coast of Sydney”
“Witnesses report seeing a strange object in the sky, resembling a woman, with spinach trails following her ascent!”

Oh my GOD! I am just one giant fart bag.
This can’t possibly be good for you.
So much for a detox. I feel as though I am just accumulating toxic (and I mean toxic!) gases at an alarming speed.
I swear, I am about to explode all over the walls.

Right about now, because she was whinging, I need to say that the person ultimately responsible for us going on this stupidly insane detox CLEANSE , is my daughter – Shai.
She complained because I made it sound like it was all my idea.
Well, I’m happy to hand the responsibility of my deteriorating sense of well being right back over to her.
It’s all her fault!

Oh the young….they are so smug.
Them and their perfectly shiny insides and uncompromised digestive systems.
She told me, as I complained today that I was “weak”.
I told her I would like to punch her.

And that my dears, just about sums up how I feel today.

Even the cat made an appearance at my bedside.
Yes, I took myself off to bed this afternoon. Too weak, frail and depressed to do anything else.
The cat rarely comes to sleep with me – but I have noted in the past that when I’m unwell he always seems to come and snuggle up at my side.
A bit like the “death cat”. Heard of it? The one in the nursing home that always knows when a patient is about to die and goes to sleep on their bed?
He sniffed me for a long time and then decided I smell like death.
These farts…ooh, I would agree.

I am salivating at the thought of mere chicken broth.
Fruit is beginning to revolt me.
I fear all my teeth will fall out with all this fructose.
Indeed I read of this happening to a man today on the internet! I mean not TODAY, while he was ON the internet…but it happened to him.
See I can’t even think or write straight the gases inside my wretched body are permeating my brain too.

Too much fructose, darling Shai, can lead to candida overgrowth problems, which in turn compromises digestion.
So how’s that going to work?

I’m really not sure this raw food thing is for me.
I certainly do not feel any CLEANSING going on.
Just a whole lot of damage to the ozone layer!

About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in Australia, Diet, Family, Food, Getting older, health and well being, Humour, Life, life experiences, teenagers and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to UFO spotted over the central coast of NSW!

  1. You bloody idiot I’m laughing so hard, ‘shite’ – pardon the pun I just saw you fly over Melbourne!

  2. desertrose7 says:

    Sorry, I think I may be contributing to the heat problem 😦 Seriously, hope you’re all ok over there. What shocking awful weather!

  3. ksbeth says:

    oh so sorry, best of luck to all involved. and within smelling distance.

  4. Well you can see how ‘off the rails’ I am when I tell you I initially misread the opening line as “breakfast news”. This flirtation with willpower is clearly affecting my willpower. I hope your digestion returns to normal once its got used to the new way of eating things. I’m sure it will be good in the long run

  5. Had this fantasy that I hit the lottery and I was going to go to Aussie land
    and join up w/you and the hubby (guru /trainer) and do the body cleansing w/you..
    Not …
    Love, no hugs, might squeeze some of the noxious fumes out of you,
    and lets look for the blessings tomorrow.
    ME and the Boss

    • desertrose7 says:

      lol! There are always blessings to be found. If I hadn’t tried this raw cleanse I don’t think I would have properly been able to put all the clues together.
      PS…I haven’t been receiving email notifications of your posts…..but I THINK I’ve fixed that now. Will catch up soon!

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