The wall.

Sheep doorway Abbey  sm

“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.”
-khalil gibran

I saw this quote on a fellow bloggers post  last night and the words rang so true for me. -

You KNOW when you are living a life that is not true to your soul- the very core of who you are. When you are trying to make all the puzzle pieces fit to make this perfect picture, but no matter what they just don’t fit?

You just know.

I know you understand the feeling.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Because we THINK we can “make it work”.

We think, because we want something SO much, with every fibre of our being, and with EVERY good intention, that somehow the magic will somehow manifest itself in us and give us superpowers to be able to mould and change things and make them exactly as our souls eye pictured it to be.

The thing is, we DO have superpowers to be able to mould and change OURSELVES…but we are completely powerless to change others around us.

So after waving our magic wands around frantically and futilely, eventually we get trapped…IN THAT WALL.
Stuck in limbo, unable to move forward because we just cannot believe in the garden that logically, intelligently we know is on the other side. Maybe we even forget it’s there?
Maybe it just feels safer to be in the wall? Right here, right now, between the bricks. It’s the only thing you truly can trust.

But this is what being in the wall does to you.

It strips you of joy.
Numbs the senses…
It fills you with anxiety- because when your core being recognises it is living a lie, it manifests as anxiety.
It robs your confidence, steals your sleep, and literally makes you sick!

I saw this happen to my daughter, who was in a relationship that deep deep down, she knew was not “right” for her core happiness. Her spirit…her soul…her inner truth!

She didn’t want to believe that or acknowledge it because she had this vision and believed she had the power to make it all fall into place.

There is nothing wrong with having faith in yourself…having dreams and goals and fighting for something. It’s how good things are born!
But sometimes you’ve got to take a long hard look inward, and ask yourself “Can this truly change to fit my picture? Is this the reality I want?”

I know my daughter could never have imagined that she would end up a single mother to two boys. The thought I know must have filled her with terror.
But you know what? She can now see the garden on the other side of the wall! She’s IN it. The wind on her face, the grass beneath her feet… and SURE it’s scary. Sometimes lonely, and I’m sure she’ll get lost in it many more times before she finally finds the path she is meant to be on…But she is out of that damn stuck place now, where she was- with NO garden at all!

It takes IMMENSE courage to move forward. To be truthful with yourself and find the strength to let go of “the picture” and have the guts to create a new one.
There is ALWAYS a new one, because that is the reality of life.

Fear is stupid. It holds you in handcuffs made of air and puts you inside walls that only exist in your mind.

Go walk in the garden! Discover it! Bask in the sunshine!
Don’t waste another precious second of this fleeting gift of- your LIFE.

About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in Fear, happiness, Life, life experiences, Musings, relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The wall.

  1. ksbeth says:

    tracy – i’m so glad you were inspired by this. i am just coming out of a relationship like this, and when i saw the quote, it gave me hope. i leave for ireland tomorrow for a couple of weeks awasy, and know when i touch down, i’ll begin to see the garden on the other side.

    • Oh Beth, I’m so sorry that you have had to go through that. Change is HARD. That stuck place is an awful place to be in, but I’m so happy for you that you’ve at least taken the step into the garden. Best of luck and have a LOVELY time in Ireland! It is truly a magical place….but no public toilets…remember that, lol!

  2. utesmile says:

    I agree with you… and Beth! We do have super powers and we discover them right when we need them. Luckily and most of us come out on the other side and enjoy the garden. I went through that too and it made me a stronger person.

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