Recently, well last year sometime actually, I happened to make contact with an old friend from YEARS ago….when I was a different person. Young, and reckless, in a band….going off gigging to far away places, sleeping in the back of the bands truck because we couldn’t afford accommodation…going down to the beach in the morning, hungover – bleh – hot and sweaty to take a “bath” in the ocean.
Nursing sore heads over greasy bacon and egg rolls from the local takeaway shop, trying to figure out who it was that apparently had been that drunk the previous night that they had ……..hmm, well, I won’t say. I just WON’T say…..LOL!
Oh the things we got up to…- like the time some punter started yelling for us to play “Jimmy Barnes!”
“Play Jimmy Barnes!” some drunken idiot kept calling out.
(this was when we were playing originals)
I was not feeling so good that night, so I stopped the band and yelled at the guy. Told him off!
Told him if he wanted Jimmy Barnes he should go and SEE Jimmy Barnes because we were playing OUR music. So just….shut the hell up about bloody Jimmy Barnes!
Those were the days hey. I had a bit more sass then.
My friend was the keyboard player in the band and her partner, to whom she is still with was the guitarist.
Well, I found out, with surprise that through all the years that have passed, they have had eleven kids.
AND that this friend of mine homeschooled them all!
I don’t know what boggles my brain more….eleven children, or homeschooling ELEVEN children.
I take my hat off to her – to them.
I cannot imagine what that would be like.
Imagine how much toilet paper they go through?
Loaves of bread?
Imagine the chaos?
All the laundry! Oh MY!
Well, there would be chaos if it were me.
I had FOUR kids, and I swear to God I don’t know how I did it. It’s all a blur now.
I do recall TRYING to be organised.
Finding” lost things” was always so very frustrating and time consuming.
The hair brush would always go missing and with three girls it was an absolute necessity, so one day, in absolute desperation I tied a string to the hairbrush handle and hung it in the bathroom.
“That’ll sort the buggers out!” I thought.
“Tell ME that nobody took it….seems like nobody is responsible for all manner of disappearing things in this house. I’ll find OUT who this nobody person is and boy are they gonna get it!” Mutter…mutter…
So, a few days later….the rush to get everyone ready for school….I take a child to the bathroom to do her hair and what do I find?
A hairbrush handle dangling from the string …but the brush part is MISSING!
That was my life.
Lost socks, shoes….aggh, right as we were about to leave the house.
Stolen scissors. They ALWAYS pinched my scissors.
One day I was SO mad because my scissors were missing that I ALMOST went to the school to pull my daughter out of class so she could tell me where my damn scissors were!
Once, I climbed up on a chair to find something on top of the fridge (my favourite spot to put important things that hopefully none of the kids would mess with) and instead I found a big wadded up ball of hair obviously pulled from a hairbrush.
“What is THIS on top of the fridge?” I asked of all the children.
A chorus of “I dunno….Not mine…”
“Is there ANY reason, please tell me…why this is being saved here in this special place? Some specific reason?”
They save their hair but lose their hairbrush?
Children are just confounding, and weird.
My eldest daughter shaved half her eyebrow off in the shower once.
She was about ten or eleven I think.
I noticed the missing half an eyebrow because she tried to draw it in with my black eyeliner pencil.
“Why did you shave half your eyebrow off? I asked of the child.
“It was an accident!” she said.
“I was in the shower when the razor fell off the shelf and hit my face…..and shaved it off.”
They also lie a lot.
How do you know when your child is lying?
Their lips are moving.
How do people remain sane?
And they all do Taekwondo, their kids.
They’re like champions….headed for the Olympics!
How does that work with sibling rivalry?
My kids were horrible to each other.
I still remember the time my eldest put thumbtacks on her sisters floor hoping she’d step on them.
Nasty! That’s just evil.
I was horrified at that.
But Taekwondo kids?
Geez, they could seriously take each other out – like forever, never mind thumbtacks.
As I said.
I take my hat off to them. (Well, I would if I could find it.)
THAT takes dedication and oh so much patience, and organisation.
Me? Gee, well, I’ve only got two left at home and we’re still trying to find out who this nobody person is, we all wear odd socks and I still can’t find my damn scissors!