I don’t know why but I feel really alone tonight.
It’s like a big dark cloud is descending over me.
Sometimes I get really sick and tired….really tired of these ups and downs. Never knowing what the day will bring.
Will it be the one in me – finding the joy in the simple things?
Laughing, seeing the funny side of life, the strong and the ever curious… or will it be the other one….the insecure and lonely.
The one who feels all the pain, the disappointment, the betrayal, the hurt.
I get tired of the fight.
What it would be like to be on somewhat of an even keel and feel a semblance of control?
To be able to …..let go.
Create a different “story” about my SELF.
Resurrect the child in me, scrub her clean and tell her it’s ok, SHE is ok.
Happiness is an illusion really. It’s not a tangible thing and it’s not something you work towards achieving then suddenly there you have it all glowing rainbows cupped in your hands and it’s YOURS forever.
It’s moments…isn’t it?
Just fleeting moments.