How to “twerk”. (I urge you to learn.)

Well I’ve learned something new today.

Twerking.

I’ve only just discovered what this word means because of the flurry of Miley Cyrus gossip going on in regards to her (porno movie practise), ahem, “performance” at the MTV Video music awards.
If you’re not up on all the latest compelling, entertainment news take a look here…

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/oh-miley-god-viewers-left-feeling-8216violated8217-after-cyrus8217-xrated-mtv-vma-performance/story-e6frfn09-1226704142661

I could have a whole lot to say about THAT but really what has grabbed my attention is the “twerking” thing, which apparently Miley was doing a lot of there among all those stuffed animals.

I don’t like to read a word and not understand what it means.
We have teenagers see, and I want to be sure that if they’re out there twerking, that it’s safe for their physical well being. Bless their cotton socks.
Plus, I just like to be hip and cool and keep up with the current trends.

So I googled “twerking” just to be sure, though I had an inkling, and lo and behold there was a “How to” video.
Amazing huh?
Anything you need to know how to do it’s there somewhere on youtube….kindly made by some thoughtful person who wishes only to help and INFORM others in their quest to learn VITAL things, like “how to twerk”.

So I eagerly watched this.
You should too.  You never know when it may come in handy.

Actually while I was watching it, particularly when she gets towards the end and gives a really nice demonstration, it reminded me of the time we fed our dog bok choy scraps and the next day, at the park, unfortunately he needed to eliminate the previous night’s dinner.
Even more unfortunately for the dog, my husband never cuts bok choy into small pieces, so the dog had swallowed one long strand of the vegetable, and he mustn’t have chewed, because it proceeded to come straight out the other end in one LONG green strand.

My dog knew how to TWERK before it was ever invented by all these cool hip young thangs, because that’s exactly what he did to try and get the piece of bok choy that was stuck inside his bottom to fall off.
Oh how he twerked, spun a few circles, twerked some more and then whimpered at me for help, which came in the form of my sneaker stepping on one end of the dangling vegetable while he tried some more twerking, until it snapped, and all was well in the world of my dogs bottom again.
(Hey, there were other people around, I had to do SOMETHING!)

So that’s one thing that came to mind watching “How to twerk.”

I thought too, it might make an interesting, possible helpful move for those suffering from chronic constipation.
Kinda like shaking a money box until the stuck penny falls down to the slot?

Never know, it might catch on…I can see all the oldies in the nursing homes giving it a go.
Better than an enema any day.

But SERIOUSLY.
This is called “dancing”?
This grotesque, vulgar movement that imitates the rudimentary rutting of an animal?
Oh, I’m so keen for all my daughters to learn exactly how to do this.
I myself am keen to do this.
I might try it next time that I am out with friends.
Or after I eat bok choy.

And as far as Miley goes….sorry, it just ain’t twerking for you darlin’.
 

 

 

 

 

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About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in animal behaviour, artists, Dance, Entertainment, Getting older, Humour, I don't fit in, Life, Music, Parenting, teenagers and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to How to “twerk”. (I urge you to learn.)

  1. OMG! Twerking??? and her name is what Tweety? What happened to stomping around our handbags on the floor in front of us? I saw the Miley routine on the news this morning – sadly GEN Y saying once again LOOK AT ME and to think you can do this with no hands? Oh dear, oh me, oh my..my hips would lock up, let alone burn. Your dog and the bok choy oh Trace I am laughing so hard here. Imagine the lovelies in the Nursing Home gyrating ..no please best you don’t. Brilliant! 🙂

  2. I think Im distirbed now…Wheres me medicine??

  3. Make that disturbed even

  4. Twerking hey…hmmm, not sure I’m up for it!

  5. I Am Jasmine Kyle says:

    I am a prude I KNOW HOWEVER I am OVERLY offended by this little girl in heat constant licking and spreading her legs… I DON”T WANT TO See… SO I don’t watch. But She’s EVERYWHERE!!!
    Good luck with your twerking can’t wait to see your how to video!

    • desertrose7 says:

      No, you are not a prude Jasmine. Not at all. I feel exactly the same way and it’s a very very sad thing that young women these days think that THAT kind of behaviour equals being “attractive” or “sexy”.
      A real woman, I think, can be truly beautiful and sexy in SO many other ways, and all with her clothes ON.

      • I Am Jasmine Kyle says:

        Well as it was since the beginning of time to this VERY day there are WOMEN and there are GIRLS!

  6. Ralph says:

    I just found this !! Does it help ??

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