The Anaconda in the ensuite.

You didn’t really expect an image did you?

Tonight I was met by the most horrifying sight in my ensuite.
As I prepared to take a shower I happened to glance into the toilet and to my shock there lay a giant Anaconda.
An unbelievably HUGE thing it was…. the incredible dimensions of it snaking deep into the far reaching corners of the S bend.
In fright, I flushed but as the water bubbled then cleared, there it was….refusing to leave, waving petulantly in all its glory in the water.
Isn’t that a grand word….petulantly.
A petulant poo.
A most GINORMOUS petulant poo.

I marched into the bedroom , hands on my hips and said to the most likely, (has blocked toilets all over the GLOBE – should travel with his own personal plunger) culprit – my husband.

“Are you responsible for the Anaconda in the ensuite ?”
Much guffawing ensued. (another grand word – guffawing.)
“No?….well someone in this house needs stitches after THAT!”
I didn’t really say that….about the stitches…it just occurred to me now as I was typing.

Perhaps the likely suspect in our household is now limping painfully….sitting on a gel cushion somewhere.
I just don’t know that it’s anatomically possible to expel something of those dimensions from the human body without suffering some kind of injury?
I feel like there should be some kind of helium balloons to offer.
“Congratulations….it’s a…….an Anaconda!”

Maybe I should be looking for someone who is smiling widely, looking remarkably….thinner?

The mind boggles sometimes.

And that is all….