I confess.

220px-Bananas_white_background

I have a confession.
You will all be absolutely appalled at me. Disgusted.
I can see the looks of horror already from here.
The revulsion, as you come to know the REAL me.

You ready?
(This is hard.)

Ok…. Brace yourself.
.
.
.
.
In winter….and it’s now winter here down under….
In winter, I never shave my legs.

There, I said it.
Before you decide to unfollow me in all my hideous hairyness….wait, let me explain…..!

Ok, I don’t really have an explanation.

I think it’s the rebel in me.
I mean why SHOULD we, as women have to shave our legs?
Men don’t!
We don’t HAVE to! Plain and simple.
A girl can still look pretty in a flowery frock , with a Sasquatch under her skirts.
It’s called being “earthy”.

Some men really dig hairy women you know? The hairier the better.
I watched a documentary about it.
They even like girls with loads of hair on their ARMS. Hairy nipples….stomachs…
It’s like they want to date a chimpanzee.
Weird.

Nature is very clever in her design of the human anatomy so there must be a darn good reason why she gave us body hair, leg hair….
Leg hair is there to…..hide spider veins?
Keep us warm?
Ok, let me think, pheromones, body hair is there to trap pheromones, you know, those physiological scents that we are attracted to on the opposite sex (or same sex sometimes)
Only thing is, not too many men have sniffed my ankles lately. Not even my husband. No women either.
So I don’t think it’s that.
Protection?
Hair on your head protects you from sunburn. Indeedy it does. Haven’t you ever got a sunburn in your part? (Not THAT part!) The part in your hair.
My boobs shade my legs so….there goes that theory.
Crumb catchers!
You eat, you drop crumbs, and if you don’t have a black hole of a cleavage like me to suck up the crumbs well then, to stop the crumbs from becoming at one with the jam (toast and jam!) between your toes, then all the protective crumb catching hairs on your legs act as a buffer see….Deflect the crumbs off into space. (Or end up looking like shin dandruff)

Stuffed if I know why we have leg hair!

Bloody annoying.
What a pain in the bum having to shave your legs. Not just one, but TWO…..at least every third day.
So, in winter what with wearing jeans and long pants and all, I just don’t. (Or at least, sporadically)
For some reason though, this winter the hair that has been left alone to sprout merrily there on my legs is frighteningly abundant, and LONG. Like leg whiskers.
It’s like someone put fertilizer on my lower legs!
It must be gravity. The hair on my head is thinning because it’s all falling down and coming out my calves.

I was shocked to catch a glimpse in the mirror tonight. I didn’t remember putting leg warmers on.
Hell, I’ve got MANS legs!

It’s a perfect “gross the kids out” prank though.
“Come here, I wanna show you something.”
I love how they run away in horror.
If they don’t do as they’re told I’ll show their friends too.

Last week I was in a rush to get ready for belly dancing class. (I know….You’re thinking…what a visual! A hairy legged belly dancer. Yum.)
It’s ok though….usually I wear leggings under a LONG skirt. Nobody can tell.
But last week I was in a hurry so I put on a pair of leggings that were a bit loose around the bottom, and skirt I threw on was a shorter one, not entirely full length.
It was only when we got to class and we were doing the warm ups that I realised my man hair was sticking out from the bottoms of my leggings and with every bend and stretch more and more of my hidden monkey limbs were showing!!!
I was more than a little embarrassed.
But still…..it’s a week later and there they are….still there in all their hairy glory.

I don’t think this is going to be a razor job, I’d be there forever!
I think I need a whipper snipper!
I should get the mad lawnmower man to do my legs while he’s at it.
Would my hubby’s hair trimmer do? He shaves his whole head bald with it!

It’s actually grossing me out.
If I start beating my chest and swinging from the chandeliers, you’ll know why.

Go on…..confess something to me.
Make me feel better.

Now, where are the banana’s?

Someone sent me this!
Apparently they are tights, (In China) that you can buy to prevent unwanted attention from males.
(I don’t need them I guess.)

ew

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About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in Australia, Body image, culture, embarrassing, Humour, Life, society and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I confess.

  1. A girl can still look pretty in a flowery frock , with a Sasquatch under her skirts.

    I am at work sshhhh – I yelled my laugh out loud at this – and giggled at the rest of it. OMG woman what a great – ‘hairingly’ honest post you have here. God no – don’t use the hair trimmer, though when you do get around to doing it, you have have to use different level blades like the grass cutting,it can’t be done in one go. 🙂 Tracy I so love these posts – is it because we snicker at others misfortune? honesty? or because they remind us of ourselves? Whatever I enjoyed it. Now my confession? Um I don’t wash my mascara off every day…I have been known to plait the hair on my legs (in winter). I eat too much sugar. Umm.I’ll get back to you if I think of anything else. 🙂 🙂

    • desertrose7 says:

      Another unshaven wanton woman in winter! Good good. We must all band together in our hairy joy!

      I don’t wash my makeup of either a lot of the time.
      Tsk tsk tsk, we are so naughty.

  2. utesmile says:

    You make me laugh! I have to say that I , in winter, shave them less often….too, so no worries, why not! When I grew up and was a teeenager nobody shaved…. I only realised it here in England, that all women did it so I started too.
    Have a great hairy , fun filled day !

  3. I should confess my failings but I don’t think the world has enough paper for me to record them. I suppose an addiction to sausages is a start

    • desertrose7 says:

      How long have you had this problem with sausages? Would you like us to organise an intervention? No sausage sizzles for you my friend! (I think my hubby has the same problem actually.)

  4. Ralph says:

    You are so funny Tracy especially on your personal posts like this one. I have known women who say I have got a hair on their chin and out come the mirror and tweezers. They tweeze away for half an hour saying that it’s still there. So I look with a magnifying glass, a microscope, an electronic microscope and call in a quantum physicist and still see nothing. I like hairy women so that’s probably why I like you my friend. Banana ?? Ralph xox 😀

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