Who moved the furniture?

Computer

I write this at the risk of sounding like a complete ninny because I AM a ninny when it comes to all things technological.
I am just not made for this world, sad but true.
I can barely operate any one of the (seventeen) remotes in our house and you will frequently find me standing screaming (or kicking) at some piece of gadgetry, or machinery in our house because it’s not doing what I tell it to.

I often feel awkward and stupid  because everyone else around me (even five year olds) seem to be able to navigate their way around this environment of screens and buttons with fluid ease, whereas I am like an alien who has time traveled from the dark ages.

So, word press appears to have changed things?
I say appeared because I haven’t seen anyone else complain or mention….Probably no big deal to all you other technically savvy people, but to me when something changes (Or if I think something has changed) in my little familiar computer world it is as though someone has walked into a blind persons sitting room and moved a piece of furniture!

When I go to my admin page , where there used to be that top bar saying “reader….notifications….stats…. etc, it seems someone has plucked the “notification” button from its rightful familiar, very handy place.
I don’t know about you, but I became very reliant on that notifications tab because my email inbox at the moment looks like the bottom of my handbag.

I know you’re supposed to DELETE email, but…..I forget.
I belong to freecycle see, so I get hundreds of emails on a regular basis, and there they pile up. The body count is horrendous.  Plus now with all the word press stuff coming in….well… For about two weeks now I have simply been afraid to check my email.
Oh I know….join the queue, directly behind my husband who wants to strangle me, frequently for my ninnyness -although that is NOT quite the word he uses.

Also, it seems something has gone awry with my browser, Opera.  It’s been playing silly buggers with me whereby if I click somewhere on a page it suddenly ….goes somewhere else.
Man!  It’s like there are people in my computer playing practical jokes…sitting there laughing heartily while they watch me having hissy fits here because they’ve  gone and done something that they KNOW will make me extremely upset with NO idea of how to fix it.

By the time I approach my husband with the problem there is steam coming out my ears and I am speaking in a tone that sounds as though I’ve inhaled helium, which makes his tone rise and then we argue and have a helium tantrum together.
All in all technology is having a rather negative effect on our marriage.

I didn’t know either that you’re not supposed to ignore that box that pops up with annoying frequency saying something about “Upgrading Opera”.
Why do I want to upgrade it?  It’s working FINE.  If it ain’t broke why fix it, is my motto.
Well apparently this doesn’t apply to the computer world.

Everything needs to be upgraded ALL THE TIME, I don’t know,, to make people feel hip and cool because life in the technology world is just one long “Let’s look really smart and savvy because we’ve got the latest greatest totally up to date, to the minute, UPGRADE”
Never mind all us blind people who just want to know that the sofa is to the left of the wall near the light switch opposite the TV which is next to the pot plant in front of the window!
I don’t want to feel hip or cool. I just don’t want bruised shins every five seconds!

Anyway, so after a major tantrum last night whereby I enlisted the help of all the other technically savvy people in my house (everyone except me that is) my husband pointed out to me that there is a new icon thingy on word press… a flag-ish looking thingy that changes to a star when you click on it to the right of the top of the admin page that indeed is where all the notifications are hidden.

WHY!!!!!
Why do that?
Please tell me?
Was the word “notifications” there somehow offensive to some?
What was wrong with its position there? Was it cluttering up “the room”?
Was it receiving too much sunlight , so now has been retreated into some dark shadowy corner of the room?
Why the bleeping bleep did you move it word press?
Just to confuse me?
To make me feel fragile and insecure in this nice little world of familiarity I had been feeling so comfortable and safe in?

Is everyone else now sitting back and smiling widely saying “Oh thank GOD word press finally came to their senses and moved that damn notifications button. It was so bloody ugly, and in the way there sitting in the middle of the reader and the stats buttons!”
Actually, if indeed it’s somehow just a glitch on my computer (hey it’s possible, isn’t it? Hell, I don’t know….seems anything is possible when it comes to computers!) and nobody else’s notification button has migrated from its rightful place then this whole post is extremely useless.

Go on, laugh at me. I know you are.
All you whizzes out there who don’t experience extreme anxiety and paranoia when it comes to upgrading browsers or things like Windows bloody 8.
What was wrong with 1 2 3 4 5 6 and bloody 7?
It’s like the Halloween movies.
They don’t change MUCH, same old gore same old bloodshed….so why BOTHER?

I don’t want COOL. I just want things to friggin’ WORK!
::::::banging head on desk:::::::

So, my husband tidied up my email inbox last night. (about time he tidied SOMETHING.)
Wow!  What a difference.
I can actually see now ( it’s like having a light in the bottom of your hand bag!)…..Found an email saying my friend wants to stay in Vietnam for another TWO years, would we like to stay on in this house?
Hell yeah….even with the ….ghost. (who by the way visited me last night…..bumping the couch,three times in succession-, yes I slept on the COUCH because I didn’t trust myself to not MURDER my snoring husband by the time 3 am came round!)
Glad I found THAT email anyway.

Don’t care much for all the spam that had accumulated.
My penis is quite fine thankyouverymuch.

By the way, Ralph (sorry, that was an abrupt subject change and in NO way am I inferring that by addressing YOU after having just talked about penis’s that YOURS might need…well….whatever…) – if you happen to read this – you somehow? emailed me a while back very kindly offering to help me with any side bar issues I may be having (Of course I’m having issues….always having issues. Every time I LOOK at a computer there is an issue.)
Thank you for that!  I was going to respond….actually ask you how you managed to email me directly, or at least somehow get a message to my email, because for the life of me I can’t figure out how to contact other bloggers more directly, other than replying to their blogs.  Your email was so quickly swallowed up into the vortex of my mail hoarding tendencies …and then I ran away crying because it got so frightening in there…..hence why I never responded!
It would be less embarrassing if I could hide my ninnyness by being able to surreptitiously private message or email somebody rather than lay it all out here for everyone to see how technically challenged I am.

On a positive note though -somehow the link thingy fixed itself, as you kind reader people may have noticed recently?
Just goes to show that sometimes if enough weeping and banging of the forehead against the keyboard is done, the universe occasionally feels sorry for me.
You should try it sometime.

So that is the story of my life.
Love technology, want to beat the crap out of technology.

Do you REALLY think it makes life easier?
Sometimes I have to wonder.

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About Tracy Lundgren

I am a people watcher,life observer, nature lover, spiritual seeker loving this crazy wild ride that life is taking me on. I am still a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled and that is good.
This entry was posted in Anxiety, Blogging, Humour, husbands, I don't fit in, Life, Marriage, Technology and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Who moved the furniture?

  1. I feel your pain. It is getting harder as we (cough) mature in years to deal, accept or even know what we are doing at times. I held back for so long getting a smart phone, prompts from family members ‘For gods sake mum keep up” etc I relented. I hate the keypad ..in fact said phone was nearly tossed into the beach the other day when we went to Point Nepean. Bloody cursed thing – either that or my fingers are a lot fatter than I thought. Sadly we can’t go back…we HAVE to go forward …but I understand exactly what you are saying! Great Post…loved the helium line 🙂

  2. desertrose7 says:

    Yes, young people must have the fittest slimmest fingers out. I reckon we’re going to evolve to have long needle like fingers as time goes on.
    I don’t even have a phone, that’s how in the dark ages I am.
    I’m more like the horse and cart, send smoke signals type.
    There is not much hope for me I’m afraid.

  3. I never use that reader button I find I miss posts! I am pretty savvy about using the computer but when it comes to hooking up the router I am completely inept! The best advice is stay calm and go to you tube, type in what u need and there is usually a video! You are not a ninny!! I absolutely adore you! Oh and good on ya for clearing up that confusion about ur penis!!!

    • desertrose7 says:

      Stay calm and go to You tube. Good advice. (But then I start wandering and end up watching people squeeze giant boils and things. Youtube is like falling down the Alice in wonderland hole, lol!)
      Yes, I felt I needed to clarify the penis issue.

      • Yes I like watching the black heads… OOH so NASTY!!!! But you MUST have focus! For only a few moments then you will be able to wonder!!! You can do it!!! It’s as easy as 1…2…

  4. Dan says:

    “I know you’re supposed to DELETE email, but…..I forget.”

    You’re not alone. Even some of us (who think we are) savy tech folks forget to delete our emails.
    Now this suggestion is probably going to require the services from your other screaming half, but it will make his life easier in the long run as well. In fact, I’m not sure why he didn’t think of this already.
    I don’t know what you are using as your email client (the software on your PC that you use to read and write your emails from) but I use one called Thunderbird. It’s free.
    http://www.mozilla.org/thunderbird/
    My ISP (Internet Service Provider – who I pay money to so I can connect to the Internet) allows me multiple email address. This allows me to organize my emails into categories.
    For instance:
    my primary email address (primary@isp-provider.com) is used only for sensitive data like my interactions with my bank or credit card companies).
    A secondary email address (secondary@isp-provider.com)could be used for all of my music software companies that I am involved with.
    A tertiary email address (tertiary@isp-provider.com) might be used for all social networking websites that I am involved with.
    I also have an email address (Dan@myname.com) that allows communications with those that access my website.
    In all, I have 8 email accounts that are set up in the way that i want to categorize and organize my emails.
    The point is that you can set up your email accounts any way you want to. Just give some forthought into how you want to organize them that make sense to you.
    Also, with a product like Thunderbird, it will prompt you to archive (if you would like to) your emails on a regularly scheduled basis.
    ———————————————–

    “Also, it seems something has gone awry with my browser, Opera. It’s been playing silly buggers with me whereby if I click somewhere on a page it suddenly ….goes somewhere else.”

    Why are you using Opera as your browser? You aren’t running under Apple’s operating system are you?
    May i suggest another Mozilla product call Firefox?
    http://www.mozilla.org/
    Oh, and do pay attention to the prompt when it tells you that a new version of Firefox is available.
    ————————————————

    “All you whizzes out there who don’t experience extreme anxiety and paranoia when it comes to upgrading browsers or things like Windows bloody 8.
    What was wrong with 1 2 3 4 5 6 and bloody 7?
    ……………………………..
    I don’t want COOL. I just want things to friggin’ WORK!
    ::::::banging head on desk:::::::”

    At the expense of having you bank your head on the desk again, there is perhaps another piece of software you might want to consider installing on you PC.
    It’s call Secunia PSI. What it does is to run checks on all of the software on your machine and to let you know that newer versions are available. It also ranks the security level of the current software to let you know that you should immediately update certain software to keep your PC secure.
    http://secunia.com/products/consumer/psi/sys_req/
    The most current version of this software Ver 3.0.0.6001, defaults to allowing the updates to all of the software on your PC to occur automatically. This might be a good tool for a ninny (albeit a lovely one) to install rather than Ver 2.0 which is what I have installed on my PC. But as i check, I see that an update includes the ability to manually choose which updates get installed.
    “- Added option to select not to download updates automatically but only be notified about them and then decide which to download and install.”
    Looks like I’ll be updating to Ver 3 soon as well.
    ——————————————————–

    “Don’t care much for all the spam that had accumulated.
    My penis is quite fine thankyouverymuch.”

    :shock”
    Well thank God for that. 😛
    ———————————————

    “So that is the story of my life.
    Love technology, want to beat the crap out of technology.

    Do you REALLY think it makes life easier?
    Sometimes I have to wonder.”

    Depends on your definition of life?
    Sometimes I want to just get out into the beauty of Mother Nature.
    But of course in a Motorhome with a music studio built in. 😉
    Who knows?
    Keep on breathing. 🙂

    Apologies for taking up so much space. 😦

  5. desertrose7 says:

    That’s quite ok Dan. I’ll let my other screaming half take a look 🙂
    I already have the option to organise my email into folders, in fact dear other control freak half DID that (without me asking) and then I kept forgetting to look in the relevant folders and people were getting upset with me for not answering their emails.
    Now I just have two folders and the rest comes in as usual. Too complicated and I get frazzled see.
    I’ve also now got the option of another browser…Google chrome.
    Things appear to be working….for now. 😉
    We’ll see what happens, but thanks for the suggestions.

  6. Ralph says:

    You are so funny. My little fellow must have been deleted in spam as he hasn’t been exploring the intricacies of womanhood for about 20 years. One day perhaps. I did not have to go through a private investigator to email you. I have lost your email address as I had a mass extermination of everything on my Microsoft Outlook one day. But I can easily find it again as soon as you comment. I get 2 emails for every comment and one has all your details including bra size and email address 😉
    I love your posts. Ralph xox

    • desertrose7 says:

      Two emails for every comment? My God, your email inbox must be pure hell.
      Ahh…duh, I see, about the email address thingy. It was right there all along.
      Well…..you don’t learn anything in life without asking silly questions. 🙂
      Actually I get more spam mail telling me that I am the recipient of millions of dollars if I just “click here”.
      Lucky I am such a skeptic hey.

      • Ralph says:

        I should have been more explicit. 2 emails for every comment made on ones own blog. So when you are notified of this reply you should get two emails saying the same thing. If not then it has got something to do with my mail as it comes through Gmail into Microsoft Outlook. It’s all magic to me except the bits I understand which is enough to convince myself that I know what I’m talking about 😉 ……yes, right !!
        I have a lot of fun with those thieves. I email them with loads of official logos from google calling myself the Chief of Police from Copland and tell them that I know their bank account numbers, assets, where they live, who they are and for them to expect a visit from their local police. Such fun !! 😀 xox

      • desertrose7 says:

        Nope, I only get one notification. Thank goodness 🙂
        Those miserable spammers are simply email vandals. Bane of our lives.

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