So…nurses are not allowed to call patients “mate” anymore here in Australia.
Shame on nurses who like to sprinkle a few sweethearts and darlings around too.
Not PROFESSIONAL, ya know!
Someone could take offense.
It could make someone feel disempowered, to be called “mate”.
Never mind the fact that the patient in question might be immobile, bed bound and need a nurse to come along, remove a well used bedpan and help wipe his bum.
“There you go…all done mate!”
Oh please NO. Not the “mate” thing!
Pull my family jewels out from under me as you drop me from a sling lift into my chair so I don’t sit and squish them, insert pessaries into my anus, stick a catheter down my willy, ask me what the consistency of my poo was like this morning, but PLEASE, just don’t insult my sensibilities and dignity by calling me “mate”.
Can you see my eyes rolling round in my head here? Any faster and I swear they’ll come loose and fall on the floor!
“Ay mate! Need any help? I think you dropped these.”
Yeah, so there’s been a bit of a stir down under recently over a memo sent out to nursing staff regarding the ban on the word “mate” and other casual endearments.
For the record I’m not a “matey” person. Nor am I a sweetheart, darling, luvvy or honey person.
Well, ok, sometimes with little kids a “sweetie” slips out and my hubby occasionally (when I want him to do something I know he won’t want to do for me) gets “darls”, but overall I’m not a gushy,maternal lovey dovey, touchy feely, kind of person.
Sometimes though, those kind of people can be nice to have around if you’re not feeling particularly well.
Kind of like having your grandmother in the room wiping your sweaty brow and serving you nice hot chicken soup to make you feel aaaaaall better.
Strike me pink! (I never say that either but I just got the urge.) It’s bloody ridiculous if you ask me.
If you ask ME, us Aussies need to hang onto the few minuscule cultural quirks that separate us from the rest of the world, stuck down here clinging to the edges of this floating desert island.
These tiny identifying elements that we can truly call our own…like “mate” and….”bogan” and “thongs with socks” and “Vegemite” (is that ours anymore? Maybe not…but we’re the only ones who’ll eat the stuff.)
What else do we have besides this handful of Aussie-isms? These few cultural idiosyncrasies?
It’s not like we have amazingly patriotic traditions that we oh so diligently adhere to.
We suck at Halloween, even if we’re not busy bagging it.
Christmas is a sweaty drunken affair.
In fact most things are drunken affairs.
You farted?!? Aaay…let’s ‘ave a beer mate!
I’ve never really understood what you’re supposed to do on the only day we really celebrate – Australia day, besides stick little flags on your car, have a barbie and drink loads of beer wearing thongs and stubbies.
Anyway, I digress.
Let the nurses say “mate”, or darling, or sweetheart, or whatever else comes natural to them.
They are there HEALING SICK PEOPLE AND BUSTING THEIR BUTTS FOR RIDICULOUSLY PISSY PAY!
And if you (whoever has come up with this ridiculous idea) really want to ban something TRULY offensive that makes a whole nation feel disempowered…start with Julia Gillard. (Oops, I never say THAT either.)
Was it her that came up with this really DUMB idea?
The other day we were driving up a busy shop lined street and parked on the side was a van, outrageously painted all colours of the rainbow.
Airbrushed artistically in HUGE letters on the back were these words.
For Gods sakes though, just don’t call someone MATE!
Ok, I’ll take off my ranty pants now.