There are some people in the world that breathe on a plant and it bursts into flower.
I walk past a plant and it instantly keels over and dies.
(I have even killed cacti.)
I don’t know what it is?
I love plants and flowers and tree’s. Really I do!
I’m a hippy child at heart and therefore SHOULD be at one with nature?
SHOULD have some sort of a loving energy that extends from my being, to reach all things green, which recognize me as a kindred earth rejoicing spirit, and instantly flourish in my magnificent at one with nature presence?
Even as a kid I tried to grow things.
When I was twelve I came home with a plant I found somewhere in the neighbourhood.
A friend of the family visited, noticed the plant growing there in a pot, and asked my mother why she had a Marijuana plant in the house.
My mother had a fit.
(Well, I didn’t know!)
(I hope my good friend, who’s house I am renting, has not decided to read my blog, because this will upset her.)
My friend is obviously one of the “breathe on a plant and it bursts into flower” kind.
She has such a beautiful lush tropical garden, which is so tranquil and peaceful -like her.
Well, it was.
And then I moved in.
I’m feeling extremely anxious here because each time I go out into the garden something else is wilting or looking scraggly, dropping it’s leaves or….dying!
There is a happy plant, despite all my tender loving care, looking ridiculously depressed at the moment and this simply shouldn’t BE!
The row of hibiscus bushes lining the fence which were dark green and lush and very bushy, are now anorexic, dropping their leaves at a rate that’s giving me palpitations and I SUSPECT, from googling, that they may have spider mites?
I’ve become a plant hypochondriac now, with google.
Does this plant have mites…. a brain tumour? Cancer?
It’s not for lack of trying. I’ve always tried to grow things.
I mean…I succeeded with children didn’t I?
I fed and watered them regularly… Made sure they sat in a bit of sunshine from time to time…
None of them got brown spots, lost limbs and dropped dead on the floor?
I’m finding that tending to plants is almost as exhausting, stressful and complicated as raising children.
Who the hell invented weeds anyway?
Grass! Jesus, the most noxious weed. I hate grass!It should be banned. It takes so much time and effort and always grows everywhere you don’t want it to.
I need a plant psychologist. Especially for the on the verge of suicide- “happy plant”.
I probably need an undertaker for a few others. (Sorry Mandy!)
Maybe it’s my energy?
Perhaps because I’m feeling so worked up and worried and anxious, my negative energy is being transmitted to the plants?
Perhaps I should go out and sing a cheerful song to the happy (sad) plant.
“If you’re happy and you know it…..?”
“Don’t worry….be happy….”
Maybe I should practice some yoga or meditation in the garden and focus on breathing out POSITIVE vibes.
Happiness and light coming out of my magnificent being….
I blame the weather.
For the past two years we haven’t had a proper summer.
Now, all of a sudden we’re getting these blasts of hellish heat.
I’m sure the garden must be confused?
I’ve sought some advice about the hibiscus with the potential mite problem anyway. Seems they need a good drenching in soapy water…regularly.
(Really is like raising kids.)
Hey, I’m insanely good -ludicrously talented at other things. One can’t be amazing at everything?
In touch with my healing magnificent nature loving self now…
I am going outside to pray in the garden of (death and destruction) -tranquility.
“Please God….the universe….all beings omnificent – HELP!”
Mandy, if you happen to be reading this…please read my “The art of exaggeration” post as well.
Also the “The truth is -I am a compulsive liar” post. Wait, hang on, I haven’t written that one yet.