I need glasses.
I’ve known this for quite some time because when I lie in bed and read I ponder the possibility of holding the book between my toes – I’m that longsighted.
Threading a needle? Pfffft! It’s just blind luck.
Don’t ask me to hold a newborn baby in my arms because they make me go cross eyed.
Even the food on my plate is a blur.
I can’t read the fluffy things on moisturizer bottles anymore and I like reading those.
All the wonderful things it tells you it’s going to do for your skin.
Words like….”radiating, glowing….youthful, eradicating fine lines….”
They fill me with hope.
See, for me the act of purchasing and wearing glasses is like a HUGE momentous event.
It means I’m getting old.
It’s like an age stamp.
Like those tartan pull along shopping trolleys on wheels that older ladies drag about to carry their groceries.
I swear I will NEVER give in and buy one of those.
Like cutting your hair short.
(I’m going to be one of those defiant grannies with long wild grey hair. Don’t care if I look like a witch.)
Like navy blue polyester slacks and shapeless button up blouses, with pockets.
And straw gardening hats…with bows.
Nope, that’s not gonna happen.
My husband called out to me the other day from his office –
“Where’s that magnifying glass?”
He came in a while later and asked me if I could read the serial number on the back of some sort of electronic gadget thing.
We had to ask my sixteen year old daughter who claims she has extra superhuman senses and can hear, see and smell things millions of times better than other people.
She tells me her sight is SO good that she can even see the tiny hairs on leaves, which made me stop on a walk one time and grab a leaf that *I* could see hairs on.
Unfortunately it was some sort of stinging nettle.
Both my husband and I seem to be calling on my daughters superhuman sight these days to help us read the many things we just can’t see anymore.
I make her read out to me all the fluffy things on my moisturizer bottles.
I had a frightening thought the other day.
I KNOW I’m looking older. I hate glancing in the mirror and seeing the evidence that this thing called life is going past FAR too quickly.
If I get glasses and can suddenly see that much better… ?
Just how many of those fine lines (that in my heart of hearts I KNOW no moisturizer can ever hope to eradicate.) are going to become horrifyingly WAY more apparent?
Will it be like going from standard definition to HD?
I told my husband…
“Darling….don’t ever get glasses.”
“Just let me continue to be a familiar comforting blur .”
We’ll live cross eyed happily ever after.