We were in the middle of the outback with my parents, at Ayers rock – well, 80 kilometres from it at a campsite called Curtain Springs.
This was where we met “Mongrel” the resident emu who lives there and rules the roost as we discovered.
If you are not familiar with Aussie speak, to call someone a “Mongrel” is kind of an affectionate term for someone who is a bit of a scoundrel.
This emu was exactly that.
You couldn’t eat your breakfast in peace without him pinching your toast or dipping his beak into your cereal bowl, and anything you left lying around HAD to be investigated, if not carried away for further inspection, by Mongrel.
Some of the campers got quite annoyed by this pesky bird but we were loving his naughty antics.
I had complained to my stepmother that none of the bra’s I’d packed were comfortable and that I really needed to see if I could buy something when we got to “civilization”.
(We were on a six week camping trip so these intimate little comforts are vital.)
Anyway as it happened when walking back from the campground shower block one afternoon my stepmother spotted a purple bra lying on the ground.
Obviously one of Mongrels stolen treasures (yes even washing was not safe with him around.)
“Here you go Trace. A new bra!” she said, waving it at me.
All the other campers had packed up and left so……well, waste not want not – especially when you’re in the middle of nowhere!
I washed the bra among all our other delicates and strung them up around the outside of the tent under the awning but before they were dry my hubby proceeded to fling some of the garments over a nearby electric wire fence to dry in the sunlight.
The fence surrounded the camp ground and there had been some discussion as to whether it was electrified or not.
The kids had been climbing under it and Mongrel too had been leaning against it so we all just assumed that it was NOT a live fence.
When I came back from a walk and saw my undergarments strung from the fence I thought to myself that this was not quite dignified even for camping, so very crossly I went to remove the articles from public view.
The first thing I reached for was the purple bra.
Well, it was still very wet and at that very moment that I reached to grab it I discovered in an instant that the fence was INDEED electric because all of a sudden I felt this terrific buzz up my arm, into my chest, and I swear it lifted my breasts almost to chin level!
My bosoms stayed there for at least twenty seconds.
Screaming I wrenched my hand away and grabbed my chest thinking perhaps my heart was going to stop…When it appeared to still be beating I checked to see if my momentary boob lift was still apparent, but unfortunately this was only a temporary effect.
What a shocking start to the morning I can tell you.
Moral to the story?
Read the title !!!